Ease the Transition: Legacy Decluttering with Care

Introduction

Downsizing a loved one’s home can feel like an overwhelming journey, filled with emotional and logistical challenges. For seniors and their adult children, this process often involves navigating decades of memories while preparing for a move to a smaller home or a retirement community. At Everyday Order, with 10 years of experience as a professional organizing company, we are recognizing the importance of concierge downsizing and relocation services for seniors, helping families simplify with empathy.

To shed light on this process, we spoke with Kesha, a senior move manager with 10 years of experience in Bergen County and surrounding areas. Her heartfelt stories and practical strategies reveal how legacy decluttering—sorting possessions to preserve what matters most—can transform transitions into meaningful experiences. Inspired by the principles of The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, and Peacock's series by the same name, this blog explores Kesha’s approach to easing family stress, preserving legacies, and making downsizing a gift of love, even in the face of emotional hurdles.

From Personal Experience to Professional Passion

Kesha’s journey into senior move management began with a deeply personal experience. “My grandmother in Queens needed to downsize to a senior living community,” she shared. “My mom and I helped her move, but after a fall, she couldn’t return to her apartment. My mom, overwhelmed with a full-time job, asked me to clean it out. I sold items on Craigslist, donated others, and got it done.” This sparked a realization when Kesha later helped cousins clear their mother’s hoarded apartment. “I thought, ‘I can make this into a business,’” she said, founding KD Relocation Solutions. Joining the National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) and a networking group, TAS, connected her with opportunities, like being added to FiveStar Community’s vendor list, where she’s thrived for 11 years. Kesha’s story shows how personal challenges can inspire professional solutions, aligning with our mission to support families.

Reframing Downsizing as an Act of Care

While Kesha hasn’t read The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, her approach resonates with its core idea: decluttering as an act of love. However, she notes it’s not always seen that way. “It depends on who you ask,” she said. “For hoarders or seniors who’ve lived in their home for 50-60 years, letting go feels like losing their possessions, not love. Adult children might see it as a relief, but seniors often feel forced, especially if a fall pushes them to assisted living.” This insight highlights the emotional complexity—65% of seniors fear losing independence (2021 AARP study)—and underscores the need for sensitivity. At Everyday Order, we echo Kesha’s empathy, helping families reframe downsizing as a way to preserve legacies while easing burdens, much like the uplifting transformations in the Peacock series The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.

A Memorable Story of Legacy Preservation

Kesha shared a touching story that mirrors some of the heartfelt moments in the Peacock series. “My first client was a senior at Arbor Terrace whose daughter had passed away from an aneurysm,” she recalled. “Every day, I picked her up, and we drove to Brooklyn to clean out her daughter’s apartment. It was emotional, but we sorted through it together. Years later, her son called me to help him move into a senior living community—a full-circle moment.” This story shows how decluttering can honor memories while moving forward. Just in Essex County alone, with ~130,000 seniors, such stories resonate, inspiring families to seek professional support for meaningful transitions.

Overcoming Emotional Challenges

Seniors often face significant hurdles when downsizing, particularly the fear of losing their life’s story. “One client was born in his home and lived there into his 90s,” Kesha said. “Moving to a 400-square-foot assisted living apartment was tough.” To make it positive, Kesha focuses on donations: “I work with organizations like the Paterson Task Force, which places items directly into homes of fire victims or homeless families. When seniors hear their sofa or dishes will help someone in need, they’re more willing to let go.” This approach aligns with Magnusson’s ethos of giving items new life, reducing the emotional weight felt by 60% of Americans struggling with sentimental items (2020 Harris Poll). We incorporate similar strategies, donating to local charities like Green Drop, VVA and the Goodwill to make downsizing feel purposeful.

Involving Adult Children Thoughtfully

Family dynamics can complicate downsizing, with 45% of caregivers reporting conflict (2019 Family Caregiver Alliance). Kesha navigates this by involving adult children strategically. “Some are hands-on, others are busy professionals or live out of state,” she said. “During the week, I work with seniors, and on weekends, kids come in to pick items or leave sticky notes for what they want. For those far away, I use FaceTime to ask, ‘Do you want this?’ Often, they say no.” She notes that 70-75% of the time, children’s old rooms—full of trophies and yearbooks—remain untouched, adding to the clutter. Kesha ships or stores items as needed, ensuring family involvement without overwhelming seniors.

Strategies for Deciding What to Keep

Kesha’s practical approach to sorting is driven by space constraints. “I use a floor plan to determine what fits in a one- or two-bedroom condo or senior living apartment,” she explained. “Seniors want to bring favorite furniture or wedding dishes, but if it doesn’t fit, we prioritize. Pictures and VCR tapes are the hardest—they hold onto first birthday tapes, but kids don’t want them.” She often packs sentimental items into labeled boxes (e.g., “wedding dishes, don’t open”) for storage, respecting attachments. This mirrors our concierge services, like QR-coded packing, ensuring essentials fit in their new locations while preserving what matters most.

Preserving Cultural and Sentimental Items

In Essex County’s diverse communities, cultural and sentimental items carry deep meaning. Kesha prioritizes these from the start: “I ask, ‘What’s most important to you?’ We focus on furniture and sentimental items that can’t be left behind, using measurements to ensure they fit.” For adult children, she coordinates shipping or storage, especially for items like family heirlooms. “Some kids take a lot to their own homes,” she said, easing parental concerns. We enhance this with digital archiving (e.g., scanning photos), ensuring cultural legacies, without cluttering new spaces.

Celebrating Small Wins

Kesha believes in making downsizing uplifting: “The first day is tough, like exercising, but by the fourth session, they’re saying, ‘Throw it out!’” Despite the resistance she may encounter many times from the client, she consistently celebrates their progress every step of the way with a good dose of compassion and patience. This coupled with the strategic guidance that she provides, have been fundamental in successfully getting the mission accomplished in easing the transition and setting up the new home that not only will be practical but a continuum of their home . One of her "rules of thumbs" is the "only take six of everything" rule. "When we're downsizing, six of everything, especially, when it comes to dishes, you break one, you have five when it's one person moving." She notes that once seniors get into a routine, decision fatigue fades (a concern for 45% of caregivers). "It's a lot of tough love, Sometimes I have to really put my foot down and it's like a tug of war and we're like battling, but afterwards we hug each other with love."

The Role of Professionals in Seamless Moves

Collaboration between senior move managers and organizers like us is key to seamless transitions. “I handle everything—paperwork, shipping, donations,” Kesha said. “On move day, adult children are rarely there, so we manage it all.” Her work with organizations like Vietnam Vets and breast cancer charities ensures items find meaningful homes. We complement this with concierge services—zone packing, QR-coded boxes, and WiFi setup— ensuring they feel at home immediately and making moves to the new location effortless. Together, we address the 70% of caregivers seeking professional help (2021 MetLife study), ensuring families focus on memories, not logistics.

One Piece of Advice for Families

Kesha’s top advice for families starting their decluttering journey is simple yet powerful: “Adult children, take your things!” She explained, “Seniors hold onto your old trophies, yearbooks, and encyclopedias, keeping rooms unchanged since you were teens. Taking your stuff is one less burden for them.” This resonates with the 80% of families wanting parental decluttering (2019 Seniorly survey) and aligns with Magnusson’s call to reduce family burdens. By clearing childhood items, adult children help seniors focus on their own legacies.

Learn More About Transitions

Inspired by Kesha’s expertise and ready to ease your family’s transition?

Visit Kesha’s Website, https://kdrelocationsolutions.com/, to learn more about her services at KD Relocation Solutions.